Songstress Looks Younger Than She Sounds

By the sound of things I would have guessed this singer's age to be about 45, at least. Alas, I was wrong. She merely sings for 45 year olds. Naturally, this does not detract from her considerable talent. And I mean that purely on a scale from one to ten. Like, looks, get it? I dare you to a comment and tell me I make too many "jokes" that are only funny to me. See for yourself.
She goes by the moniker "Jane Monheit" and makes jazzy music. And if you look at who claims credit for this oeuvre it is a veritable who's who of jazz heavy weights:

(from the press release)
Accompanying Monheit on “The Lovers, The Dreamers And Me” are long-time Monheit band-members Michael Kanan (piano and Fender Rhodes), Rick Montalbano on drums, and Neal Miner on bass, who were joined on the CD by musicians Peter Bernstein (guitar), Stefon Harris (vibes), Seamus Blake (saxophone), Frank Vignola (guitar), Gil Goldstein (piano, accordion), Romero Lubambo (guitar), Antonio Sanchez (drums), Scott Colley (bass) and Bashiri Johnson on percussion.

I might develop an eyebrow fetish - I have some pretty strong ones myself (In fact, it is said that they saved my one eye once - long, other story). In conclusion, I present you with Jane Monheit's CD available here. For your listening pleasure please visit her official site at JaneMonheit.com and check out the "goods"; those 35 sec clips. I mean. Duh. Get going already and stop staring.

Kick back, relax and shoot yourself in the foot.

This may seem a little cliche, but there are two things that drive me up the wall. One of them is definitely smooth jazz in all it's incarnations. Call it urban, contemporary jazz, some form of R&B...whatever. Gives me the heebie jeebies - all is see is fake jewlery and vinyl dresses. eeeuuuccchhh. Over-produced, cheesy, SAXOPHONES, dentist chairs, drilling, you see where this is going. Unfortunately this genre refuses to go the way of cherry curls and so here I present you with a, not quite so hairraising, sample of one of the genres proponents:Give it a listen on MySpace and tell me you don't at least hear a hint of things that makes you wish Stalin got his hands on Kenny G or something. But you know, we keep an open mind around these parts, and whatever floats your boat, but stay away from my children and I. Or my future children, anyway. I will make sure that if they go to the dentist there will be no muzak and they will keep it real. But should you be absolutely hell bent on adding another useless record to your collection, be it for sake of the industry as whole, which would be quite commendable, frankly, please go ahead and purchase it here.

Hello.

Debauched!

Because I like that word. Now, down to business. Caligula has been released for the umpteenth time and guess what? It's still a pretty far out clusterfuck. I read things that condemn the movie to all hell, but I, myself, am not quite so dramatic. In fact I think Caligula, who is also Alex from a "Clockwork Orange", is totally metal and therefore awesome. Yeah, there are prehistoric dildos and a lawn mower that doubles as a people mower, but it's still kind of badass. How's that saying go? Something about too many cooks in the kitchen....
So, now you can watch some the grainy movie in super high def with some extras about Peter O'Toole smoking mad joints, and to me that's almost as much fun. I was kinda, uh, bleary eyed myself when i saw the movie and sat in dark for at least 5 minutes after it was done trying to get my ears to turn normal flesh color again. ____: (get it? bottom line) the movie is confusing, effing long, decadent to no end, perhaps a wee bit unrealistic and, i'm willing to bet, entirely offensive to anyone that's had the privelege of being homeschooled. I can let you preview it here, but in my opinion it's best if you check it out for yourself - even as a tutorial on how-not-to-make an epic historical fiction piece with tons of penthouse pets. Quite frankly, how you mess something like this up is beyond me. Buy the Blu-Ray, even if it's only to save space and have one less disk than the 3-set DVD set.

UPDATE: The eyes, man, the eyes - talk about piercing. Although that is neither here nor there.

WOah - Christmas Came Late SMASHING PUMPKINS RELEASED A DVD......and it's arsty. Surprise.

You, the reader, may have a wide array of feelings concerning The Smashing Pumpkins. Some of you may have lost your virginity to (not in) "1979", others tried to cut themselves to "bullet with butterfly wings" but apprently didn't succeed at the jackpot, as we like to call it, and almost everyone heard of Billy Corgan's recent antics during their tour. I like that he called some dude on stage and asked him what he knew of James Iha. Brilliantly artistic dick move. Ha. I thought it was funny. Look - art:Then again my teenage years weren't spent painting my nails black and fantasizing about skeletor incarnate. Whatever. So, the reason Christmas came late? i didn't get any presents. Except for this one DVD that dropped into my lap. It's called "if all goes wrong" (lower case was my idea, thought it gave it a nice, gothic touch - because did you know that in 1203 the only way people wrote was in lower case? Or maybe it was the other way around) and it chronicles some live performances of an alleged "reunion" of the band and documentary. Let's call it what it is; Billy Corgan playing with some band that isn't zwan. Nothing wrong with that, just saying. In fact, I think as a whole, the DVD is really good. It shows the creative process and some not so bright sides but leaves you a little more enlightened than you were before you smaked this pancake in the DVD oven. The concert footage is also nothing to shake a stick out, which I seem to do so often, but if you expect the hits you are didn't do your Billy Corgan research. Needless to say, I enjyed the DVD. Makes the whole thing worth the effort. Awesome. Now that's over with and I am crawling back into my cave. Look, more pictures:

And because I like this screwy front man - a clip, pour vous, the awesome audience:

Happy New Year

Back to work, as they say. I hope everyone had a f*cking great new years and everything lined up for the upcoming disaster.
Having said that, over the past couple of days I had some time on my hands. What did I do with it you ask? I caught up on some classic flicks, is what I did. I was tipped off to one in particular after I was sent the soundtrack. Bottle Rocket is what it's called and it's...well, i will not pass judgment (I also saw, for the first time, bong water, which is a complete mess. But that's another story). The soundtrack is decidedly awesome. Some good ole jazz, if you ask me. Not that you did, but anyway.It even includes material from the guy who did music for the Charlie Brown cartoons. Hmmm, I bet Wes Anderson never identified with Charlie Brown at all. If you ask me (again) though I feel like that's the most depressed toon ever. I am here to spread word about the soundtrack though, so feel free to check it out:

“Skating” by Vince Guaraldi Trio (this is the charlie brown guy, give it a listen)

“Jane-O” by Zoot Sims

Good lord, I may have lost some of my bite. Ouch. Let's all pray for some more things that warrant snide remarks. Who am i kidding, i hear the mail man coming.

ROBOT CHILD ABUSE ALERT!!

ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT

So, we here at Marvelous Observations love life. And we think every "being" should have an equal shot at it. Today, however, we were proved wrong. After we were contacted by ROBOT FIENDS about the current robot child prototype flavor of the week, we have come to realize that some "beings" never even got a fair chance. This newest incarnation of the ugly face of capitalism has us all baffled (I think I spawned some more personalities overnight). At the supposed age of 13 (ahem) and outfitted with the (cutely misspelled computer nickname) Scooter Smiff, he (it) has taken the intertubewebz by storm and somehow (probably through malicious computer viruses) managed to get over 2 million views for his video. We have posted the video below, but for god's sake don't watch it. We heard there have been some security issues with Internet Explorer recently. Coincidence? Me thinks not. But back to the original point, this poor "being" is being abused, even by computer standards. Along with co-Robot Chris Brown, it is off and, seemingly, unstoppable. Lord Save Us All. Capitalism: 1, Us: 0

Holy Crap! Have Y'all Heard Of Interviews? Over The Internet?

Get out of town...ok, so some people have given interviews before. But not on their OWN site. On the forefront of this new development is this band Keane. They are British (har har). Pirate Style. And this site, to which, incidentally, I have a link to, is awesome. Look http://www.keanemusic.com

Ok, I was being ironic. But that's what hipsters do, right? Especially British ones.

In addition to their cutting edgeness, they also have widgets. Check it, son. Have you heard of these widgets?